The worse part about all of this is that because this change is happening inside my head and I don’t know why, Scott is not exactly on board. I can't believe we don't agree on this. That to me is a sure sign that a marriage is doomed. And wasn’t I the person smugly posting on the Nest to a woman in a similar situation, “Why didn’t you discuss this before you got married?” Boy did I know it all. But the truth is, we did discuss this before we got married, but not in depth. It was more like, “You don’t want kids do you?” followed by, “Nope,” and then a “Good, me neither.” Does this qualify as an adult discussion?
I am, perhaps, being unfair here. We both agreed that it was far nicer to sit at home and drink wine, or travel to exotic locales collecting art, or display expensive sculpture around our beautiful spotless home, or spend Sundays in bed and eating fattening brunch foods than running around behind a screaming, crying, attention sucking, energy draining, perpetually hungry, relationship wrecking child. And that is how we thought of them. We did not want to spend sunset hours helping someone with homework, or Saturday morning at t-ball, or nights when Stephen's band is playing giving baths. We wanted to live our lives and do something important with them.
We still do I think.
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