Totally Waffling

I’m insane. As of this moment, I’m thinking I may do it. But in a few minutes, I’ll be totally against it again. I do not want to change my mind. I do not want to have a boring empty life. Is childlessness boring and empty? When did I start saying "childless" instead of "child free"???

Truth be told, I am totally struggling with the fact that I always said that we wouldn’t have kids. It’s bigger than me. Every young woman who makes this decision with eyes wide open and has to endure the endless “you’ll change your mind” comments will be affected by this. I know that sounds a little grand, but this is how I feel. I decided when I was 12 that I didn’t want to be a mom, and I railed against those who said I would change my mind. I actually received kudos from older women who confessed that they wish they had made that same decision. I was a crusader in the world of childlessness. Oh my God I've really gone off the deep end here.

But why do people have to be all up in it? Why? Someone made the comment to me that once her child is 6 months old I will want a kid. So presumptuous! She has no idea that her kid and her circumstances are my worst nightmare! Tales from the Don't Let This Happen to You school of life. Or that the question to have kids or not has been scheduled for discussion for 6 years. But oh yes, the world revolves around you!

Logging off in search of Tylenol.